RealComedy

Outsourcing Safety

2005-09-10T01:56:00.000-02:30

Do you know what IEM stands for?

Probably not.

Innovative Emergency Management. Want to know what they do?

You should. They're a company responsible for disaster planning. In specific, they're leading the development of a catastrophic hurricane disaster plan for Southeast Louisiana and the City of New Orleans under a more than half a million dollar contract with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security/Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). It's a fact. They're the ones behind the Hurricane Pam simulation last year.

Now, here's something interesting about IEM. The president of the company is Madhu Beriwal And based on the records, it looks like she's given $12,500 to Republicans and conservative political action committees since 2000. Not like $12,000 is a lot of money. It's just interesting.

Ok, so, that's all well and good. Here's where it gets interesting. Over at Kos, there's a dairy entry from a guy who worked for IEM during the Hurricane Pam Scenario. He had very funny things to say.

Among some of the highlights.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency promised the moon and the stars. They promised to have 1,000,000 bottles of water per day coming into affected areas within 48 hours.

and

one reason FEMA has rejected large donation and turned back freelance shipments of water, medical supplies, food, etc: they have contracts in place to purchase those items, and accepting the same product from another source could be construed as breach of contract

and of course, this

FEMA promised more than they could deliver. They cut off deeper, perhaps more meaningful discussion and planning by handing out empty promises.

Of course, in all this confusion, some one had to try and sort it all out. Well, lucky, there are people who are trying to get to the bottom of it. People who may actually be able to do something. Rep Tom Davis and Rep Henry Waxman.

Let's hope they do something about it.

By the way, it's worth having a poke around the IEM site. I especially liked the article about how Data Mining is used to plan for Chemical Disasters. I wonder if they used the same techniques to plan for Hurricanes and Floods.

Source

Mocking Power and Those Who Hold It

2005-09-06T17:05:00.000-02:30

John Ralston Saul has said of Comedy:

"The least controllable use of language and therefore the most threatening to people in power"

I am inclined to agree.

Hi, you can call me Source, and if your reading this, it means you're one of the first people to stumble across my brand new blog. Either that, or you're a fan of a very successful blog and merely perusing it's archives. Well, one can dream.

A little about myself before I talk about my plans for this blog. Blog. It's just fun to say.

I'm a Canadian, born and raised in Newfoundland (Gods country, if you're into that sort of thing.) I'm going to university, and I'm a member of several improv comedy groups in the city where I live.

There. That's all the boring stuff out of the way. Maybe I'll reveal more personal details as time goes on, maybe not.

The purpose of this Blog is basically to give me a venue to rant and fume, to bait and debate, to share my deep thoughts and pretty pictures. I chose the name RealComedy because that's my interest. Real Comedy. Back to John Ralston Saul.

"Real Comedy doesn't give a damn about respectability. It belongs neither to class nor to interest group and expects to mock power and those who hold it"

Too true. Too true.

So that is my aim. To mock power and those who hold it. Now, I know I'm a Canadian, but let's face it, anyone who knows about Canadian Politics knows boring when they see it. I'm sure through the course of this Blog I'll cover Canadian Political Issues, but as of right now I'm far more interested in poking fun at American Politics. They just seem to take it more seriously. Which is why I have a little addition to Mr. Saul's great definition. Mock power, those who hold it, and those who support those who hold it.

I'll give you a great example. I was thinking of starting a Blog for a while, but it wasn't until Chris Regan of JunkyardBlog told me to get my own, that I actually did. See, I apparently tried to "Hijack" his comments section by posting a series of, well, comments. I'll admit he might not have agreed with the comments, but I don't recall ever threatening them with box cutters...

So yeah, he obviously has very little in the way of a sense of humour. I mean, his last name is Regan. The only guy I ever knew with the last name Regan drove himself to an attempted suicide by listening to too much Emo music. (Last I heard he became a Buddhist.)

Basically, Chris is what I refer to as Batshit Insane. People who are Batshit Insane are willing to sacrifice their very humanity to support an ideological position. And that's funny. Really, really funny. So I'm sure I'll be paying JunkYardBlog frequent visits in search of material.

But I don't want to come across as a lefty, even though I probably am. If it's funny (and by the way, Ann Coulter isn't funny) then I'll post it, so if you see something political that tickles you in the laughing places, send it my way. I'll be glad to post it. Or at the very least, look at it and smile.

So that about sums it up. A fair intro at best, I know, but that's my attitude towards most things. I'll be back with another post tomorrow. Either that, or I'll completely lose interest in the idea of blogging and go back to playing Curve Ball.

Source

btw, in case i get in trouble or something, those quotes from Saul are from The Doubter's Companion (An Aggressive Guide to Common Sense). which also happens to be my favorite book.

So...When are they going to fire Michael Brown?

2005-09-06T14:14:00.000-02:30

Let's just review what we know about Michael Brown.

We know he's the Under Secretary of Emergency Preparedness and Response which means he's the head of FEMA.

We know his some of his past work experiences include practicing law in Colorado and Oklahoma, he was Judges and Stewards Commissioner with the International Arabian Horse Association (which strangely does not appear on his FEMA Bio) and he apparently spent some time in the 70's serving in Edmund Ok. as an assistant city manager in with emergency services oversight. I'm guessing it's that last one that prepared him to head up FEMA. Either that, or the fact he was the college roommate of Joseph Allbaugh, the former head of FEMA. Or am I just being a pessimist?

We know that in Jan. 2005, US Rep Robert Wexler(D-FL) called for his removal from FEMA because apparently Mr. Brown helped distribute 30 million dollars in hurricane relief to a district that was not actually affected by a hurricane. Wexler called for his removal AGAIN in April, 2005 because, well, A. The first call for his removal did nothing and B. Even MORE corruption and instances of fraud were uncovered.

So, that's the man. How has he acted during the worst natural disaster to hit the United States of America? Well, by blaming the victims. By claiming he, as the head of FEMA were unaware that victims even existed! (Luckily we have Ted Koppel and Paul Zahn to let him on in the secret survivors.) And of course, by proclaiming what a good job he's really doing despite what the cynics (and thirsty people) have to say.

Time to get your pitchfork and your torch and head up to the spooky castle on the hill. Unless of course, you have some MORE dirt on Michael Brown. I'd love to hear it...

Source

Comic Relief

2005-09-06T01:37:00.000-02:30

Alright, so I figure as long as I got one post up, why not try to knock off a second. These are simply 3 really funny things I've seen around the web. They all have to do with Katrina. Before you start fuming with indignation at the mere thought of poking fun at such a catastrophe as that hurricane was/is/and will be, just remember...I don't care what you think. This is how I deal with grief. Laugh at the stupidity of it all. On with the show...

The first will remind those fond of Russian History of a little man named Potemkin and his Can Do attitude. It's the Great Post Katrina Bush Photo Op Gulf States Tour! Among other things, this very important picture taking session resulted in...

1. The Grounding of Helicopters that could have otherwise been delivering aid, rescuing people or recovering bodies

2. The creation of "Aid Stations" to be used as "Back Drops" for Bush photographs that were quickly dismantled after the pictures were taken.

3. This GEM of a conversation between President Bush, 2 Black Women and A white guy in Shades.

Bush to women: "There's a Salvation Army center that I want to, that I'll tell you where it is, and they'll get you some help. I'm sorry.... They'll help you.....
Woman 1: "I came here looking for clothes..."
Bush: "They'll get you some clothes, at the Salvation Army center..."
Woman 1: "We don't have anything..."
Bush: "I understand.... Do you know where the center is, that I'm talking to you about?"
Guy with shades: "There's no center there, sir, it's a truck."
Bush: "There's trucks?"
Guy: "There's a school, a school about two miles away....."
Bush: "But isn't there a Salvation center down there?"
Guy: "No that's wiped out...."
Bush: "A temporary center? "
Guy: "No sir they've got a truck there, for food."
Bush: "That's what I'm saying, for food and water."
Bush turns to the sister who's been saying how she needs clothes.
Bush to sister: "You need food and water."

Wonderful stuff. Who could write that? Bush is a comic genius.

Another funny thing, just to prove I'm open to poking fun at BOTH sides of the spectrum is this picture of Captain Sean doing what he does best.

Rescuing Flood Victims.

Notice the sophisticated bailing apparatus.
Why didn't they send Johnny Depp? At least his acting resume includes work on boat.
Christ Sean, just write a check.

And finally, for the kids, it's the FEMA Disaster preparation and Mitigation Rap. Break it Down!

Alright, well, those are some of the hilarious things happening, even in the face of such tragedy and suffering. As the guy on the cross next to Brian says,

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.

Source